It seems like a day to remember, ‘’Turning 28 on the 28th’’. Although I am in college all day preparing for my next ACCA exam, it sounds somewhat special and so, this year instead of wishing my birthday away, I am going to embrace it with arms wide open, ready, and excited for the bountiful adventures ahead. Just by writing that I already feel an overwhelming acceptance of who I am wash over me. It’s refreshing…
When I look back over the last decade of my life, I see so much change, both good and bad but mostly some change that even I didn’t imagine possible. And let’s be frank, I have a wild enough imagination! There have been changes in jobs, job titles and descriptions, change in dreams and aspirations, change in passions and desires, changes of address and location, and of course changes in people that came in and out of my life. All of which has brought me to where I am today, a Womanpreneur stepping out into the world with confidence and style… Well yes, I am still working on it, but without envisaging it, how could I ever expect to get to that Boss Lady status I am climbing towards?!
I suppose what I want to achieve by writing this small piece is comfort in knowing that I have walked a path that no one else has, I’ve walked my path and throughout that walk I have grown. My life has had twists and turns, ups and downs, rollercoasters, and tumble tossers and yet even with all of that, I still stand. Sometimes I am in awe of what I have been through and other times, I feel almost saddened that some things happened in my life that could have been avoided. But who are we without our flaws? Who are we without our past, our trials and tribulations? Who are we without our struggles? We are half a human wanting to only experience life through rose coloured glasses, that’s who.
While that sounds delightful, I’m reminded that without those experiences in life I would not have grown strong, independent, and courageous. I would not have found it within me to believe in myself and what I am capable of. I would not have been able to express myself so deeply that sometimes I even hurt myself… and I definitely would not have gotten to a point of healing, where I now believe in myself and my creativity.
For years, I have avoided my birthday like the plague. I haven’t enjoyed celebrating it and this year, I finally understand the why behind the avoidance; because I didn’t believe that I was worth celebrating! Sure, I slapped a smile on my face and went about celebrations with people whom I assumed would be part of my life forever. Heck! I even bought party dresses and got done up to the nines to try and mask the pain of the disbelief in myself and my passions! For years, I hid so much pain behind sweet little Jessica’s smile, always wanting to celebrate others and not care much for my own victories. There are a lot of deeper meanings as to where that attitude came from, but this piece is about the wins, the achievements, the changes that made me a stronger woman. This year, the hiding ends! This year, I am celebrating me, and I am celebrating me hard!
So, without further babbling, I would like to ask of you all to raise a glass with me (even if you’re just awake, it’s 5pm somewhere, and hey, mimosas are breakfast!). Here’s to me! Jessica Louise. A woman who has been through numerous changes, difficult and easy, heart breaking and inspiring, captivating and propelling. A woman who sees herself for who she is, knows she is not perfect but that she is perfectly imperfect. A woman who has dropped the mask and who speaks her truth without conviction. A woman who sees beauty in everything and encourages only the best in people. A woman who forgives wholeheartedly and loves ever so deeply. A woman who is proud of her accomplishments and is excited to continue building her empire, be it small, or be it worldwide, this girl is on fire! 28 and feeling like my truest self, little Jess you would be so proud!